This week marked Jack’s first days of school!! He has been excited since he turned five — in March. The day after his birthday, when I took him to preschool, he told me, I don’t go here anymore, Momma. Remember? I’m five, I go to kindergarten! As the day itself got closer, his excitement was tempered more and more with anxiety. My anxiety (oh my gosh?!? My boy going to school? How did that happen so fast? What will I do with myself? I’m going to MISS him!!) was tempered more and more with excitement. In the end, it was a wonderful day. Here’s how it happened:
Our school district is awesome. Clearly they have dealt with scared parents and kindergartners for a while, and they hav ea whole slew of events to help ease us all in. It began with Back to School day, where the whole gym was set up with different stations getting us all signed in. Served a bureaucratic purpose, of course, but also gave Jack and I a chance to look around the school and see some of the teachers…who were very nice! Big sigh number one. Then came curriculum night, just for the parents. We met the teachers and found out what they would be doing this year, found out that Jack knows pretty much what he needs to know and that they won’t make him feel like an idiot for the things he doesn’t know. Big sigh number two. Then there was Meet the Teacher Day, when Jack got to, as you might guess from the name, meet the teacher. We got to go together and spend an hour playing with all the cool stuff in the class. This is where things got interesting….
Having been wanting to go to school for months, having been talking about Meet the Teacher for days, when we arrived on campus, the enormity of it all seemed to sink in on Jack. He walked quite bravely up to the door of the school, then found something really very important to do on the sidewalk. (Happened to be playing with a game of magnetic checkers with only four checkers left.) Try number two: we made it into the building, at which point he proclaimed he was going to throw up (he’d been coughing over some juice on the drive in) and took off tot he back of the school, telling me not to follow. Try number three: made it to the classroom door, whereupon Jack became extremely interested in the contents of the Lost and Found bin across the hallway. Try number four: Mum has now lost patience. Mind you, I have been in the classroom four times now and am beginning to feel a bit of an idiot. I believe there was some threatening involved. Finally, we made it in the classroom, and all the way up to Mr. Walker, who sat down with Jack and tried to engage him. Jack engaged himself in climbing up my leg and pulling my sunglasses off.
Did I mention Jack responds to new and possibly scary places by getting silly. (Mmmmm, wonder where he gets that from?)
Camels back, meet last straw. I suddenly realize there’s something super important for me to do in the car and leave Jack to his fate. When I come back a few minutes later, Jack is writhing on the floor doing something silly, still not having introduced himself to Mr. Walker, but he is now at least willing to go check out the rest of the classroom. We had a very nice hour meeting other kids, painting, playing with blocks, and leave feeling like it might be alright after all, if we can only get him in the door.
Next up, Assessment Day. Otherwise (for those of us prone to freaking out) known as “Gentle Start”. Jack had a day of school with only four or so other kids in the class, which gave them a chance to get used to their surroundings and Mr. Walker a chance to size everybody up. Once again, strange place — strange Jack. Of course, he did have the deck a bit stacked against him. He’d brought all his school supplies in his brand new school bag, and apparently I hadn’t been emphatic enough when explaining to him that his school supplies were actually communal. Unfortuantely, his first task of the day turned out to be seperating his brand new, highly prized school supplies into boxes to be left at school. What?!? Adding to the issue was the fact that the school supply bins happened to be right next to the play-kitchen area. Verbal scuffle ensures, which I eventually win but not without first feeling like I’d proven us to be the worst mommy-boy duo in history. (A bit prone to over-reaction, anyone?)
Not to leave any kindergarten-parent cliche untouched, I email Mr. Walker immediately to ask how things went. He, patient soul that all kindergarten teachers much be, avoids even a hint of a sigh as he gives me a rundown of how Jack did. Notwithstanding the fact that he tell sme exactly what I had been expecting, both behavior and academic wise, I freak out for the next 24-48 hours before deciding it might all be ok after all.
Finally the big day arrived. Nanny came up the night before to be on hand for the momentous occasion. Jack woke up earlier than ever before, and that includes babyhood, and go thimself dressed (never before heard of) and spent the last twenty minutes asking, almost continually, if it was time to go catch the bus yet. Finally, it was. We all set up, Mum, daddy, and I walking, Jack absolutely tearing down the sidewalk, looking back periodically to encourage us to hurry it up already. I had expected to be really, horribly sad and bereft, but in fact I was really happy and extremely proud. It was wonderful to see him bounding off, all excited and proud and ready, no fear. We waited all together at the bus stop, on a beautiful, perfect-temperature, sunny morning. Jack was a bit shy to talk to any of the other kids, which handed me a lovely gift. We’d had this game, started by Nanny, of course, of looking down into the storm drains to see what was there, tossing stuff in. Well, as far as games go, it’s not the best, but you know, we’re all for encouraging the scientific inquiry. So, the last few mintues of mommy&me time, the boy and I spent together, huddled over the storm drain (!). I’m not sure why it was so sweet for me, maybe a little sign that things weren’t really changing so drastically after all. The bus came, Jack happily got in line to get on. Then as the last person in front of him went, and it was just him and those big daunting school bus steps, he paused. I know that feeling exactly! Oh, you think it’s going to be great. You think you are ready. But when you get to the stepping off place, it’s all so MUCH. I stepped in, gave him a hug and a kiss. and that was all he needed. Up and off he went. It was perfect. He was excited and happy, and this moment that I had really been dreading, when it arrived, was not so bad after all. There’s a life lesson in that, as Mum would say. Instead of feeling empty, I just felt proud, a tad bit lonely, I guess, but happy my boy was on his way, and excited for him to experience the world and come home and share it with me.
Coming home was a bit of an issue. though! Thank goodness Nanny was there! The bus was forty minutes late! I ran through all the possible scenarios, why the first day would be slow, reassuring myself it would be ok, but I was definitely not up for FORTY minutes worth. I finally decided to dash for home, to grab the cell phone and the number to the school, a move I’d debated for probably 35 minutes, knowing that things being what they are, the bus would appear while I was in the house. Sure enough, as I come back out of the house I can see nanny waving frantically at the end of the block. Sprinting full blast, I just make it as the bus pulls up. Turns out, poor bus driver, that the bus had blown a tire, with a full load of first0day Kindergartners. They’d had to switch buses, then the driver had discovered that her list was wrong and she’d been navigating at least partially by asking the kids where their bus stops were. Did I mention they were all kindergartners? On the first day? Yeah, they were helpful!
So, now settling into this new routine, I have to say somehow we feel like more of a family. Maybe it’s just that this is the part of being a family that I remember from being a kid. The sitting round the dinner table, everyone talking about their day, each of us having different things to add. I love it. And so, it is the beginning and the end. The end of the part of my life that I’ve loved beyond anything else. Being home with Jack, being there for everything, teaching him and watching him learn and just being with him, enjoying everything together. And the beginning of this new wonderful adventure. I’d only seen before the things I was losing — the being together all the time, the seeing everything he does, the being there. Now I’m beginning to see all the things I’m gaining — the him becoming who he is on his own, of being exposed to new things and new people, and most of the all, the coming home and sharing it all.
Cooking and baking. Daddy has started making things and has learned a new way to show his creative side. This is a saturday morning tradition, pancakes. But I got a set of pancake molds for my birthday. Mow breakfast is extra fun. Sunday evening I am assisted by chef jack. After learning a few kitchen manners, (1.Do not turn on the kitchen aid blender with either parents fingers in the bowl. 2. No making unnecessary messes. 3 and you have to crack the egg in the bowl)
